Letters from the Cast (Part Two)

Look at the previous post for an explanation.

(Ooh, now it's time to attack other books!)

Dear Bella Swan (from Twilight),
Um. Woooow. You have a boyfriend who's a vampire and a best guy friend who's a werewolf. You must have a really tough life. You must struggle every day to overcome your crippling weaknesses. I have some simple words to tell you.
Get your act together.
Do yourself (and the world) a favor and shoot your boyfriend.
-Rachel



Dear Jacob Black (from Twilight),
You call yourself a werewolf!? I've fought real werewolves. They're bloodthirsty, malicious creatures who will die from a silver bullet and transform victims into other werewolves. You are the weak, depressing offspring of an alpaca and coyote! Make your choice: man up, get rid of that stupid motorcycle, stop hanging around vampires, or suffer much more ridicule than this!
-Nessah

Dear Edward Cullen (from Twilight),
You sparkle, you're pale, and you're a hundred years old... you must be a fairy! Okay, I'm joking. I know that you're not a fairy. You are a so-called "vampire". Well... heads up, I met Dracula once, and he was much more of a vampire than you are. He was also more of a gentleman. We had tea together before he tried to suck my blood.
If you tried to have tea with me, Edward, I would stab you repeatedly with a wooden stake. Following this, I would string up your body and let my children use you for target practice.
-Snow